One of the greatest joys of my job is developing bonds with the teams and individuals I am lucky enough to work beside. But as with everything in life, these relationships inevitably have their ups and downs that need to be worked through and this past week was one of those times. I recently had a team member take offence to something I had done. This was someone I had known for more than a year, someone who's tears I had wiped when she had been frustrated and stressed. For me, this offence and her reaction to it came out of nowhere, but after allowing some time for everyone involved to cool off she apologized for behaving badly towards me and I thought "oh perfect, this is my opportunity to have a real conversation."
Giving her the chance to open up, she explained that during my last visit, she felt I was targeting her as I pointed out a number of her mistakes. She believed I was going to get her fired. I was shocked. If anyone knows me, they know that I hope to go through the rest of my life without having to fire someone. Far too often, offices in our industry are in a state of disarray, employees don't get trained appropriately, don't get feedback regularly, don't get coaching of any kind, but when something goes wrong the blame is placed at the feet of the employee. In fact, my company was founded in part on the belief that this is not right and there are better ways. But with this said, it is my job to identify and correct issues within the offices I work. This is never done out of malice, never done to embarrass, and is never personal.
Giving her the chance to open up, she explained that during my last visit, she felt I was targeting her as I pointed out a number of her mistakes. She believed I was going to get her fired. I was shocked. If anyone knows me, they know that I hope to go through the rest of my life without having to fire someone. Far too often, offices in our industry are in a state of disarray, employees don't get trained appropriately, don't get feedback regularly, don't get coaching of any kind, but when something goes wrong the blame is placed at the feet of the employee. In fact, my company was founded in part on the belief that this is not right and there are better way. But with this said, it is my job to identify and correct issues within the offices I work. This is never done out of malice, never done to embarrass, and is never personal.
Please remember, many issues can be resolved with proper communication, just say the thing that is hard to say. Tell the person they hurt you, take a chance on the relationship that you have built and give someone the benefit of the doubt. But please, don't hold it inside, you are only hurting yourself and your future. As Dr Brene Brown says "Clear is Kind."
Until next time
Bianca Dornan
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